Goodbye... to us

When you said you’d be with me forever
I believed it was the gospel truth
Falling like a naive old fool for your talks
Ensnared in your web of deceit
I could never escape, floundering around
Hoping to see the light of the day
With your arm around me tight
Telling me it would be okay.
But I hoped too much
And it still is dark, I can’t see a thing
I’m falling apart, no one can catch me
I’m breaking to pieces, no one to hold me
I think I just died... for the millionth time.
Your lips just move, I can hear no words
My ears are deaf to your rants and raves
I can hear no more, I wish not to
And I turn away, walk away
From a lifetime of lies, deceit and hate
From you, from me, from us.
Everyday hurts too much
Every breath widens the void within me
Every heartbeat keeps me alive
When I only want to die... again.
Was I wrong to believe you,
When you said you loved me unto death
Was I wrong to give my heart to you
Only so that you could ruthlessly stamp on it
And give it back, devoid of love?
You said you loved me, I know you did
But was your love not strong enough
To withstand the storm that the world created
Or did you just not love me enough
To understand that I was different.
How could you think I loved someone else
When I only live for you
How could you say that a stranger understood you
More than your other half did?
I wish for you so hard, so bad
I wish to run back into your arms,
I want you with every part of my being,
If only you asked me once
I promised I would be yours.
People say I’m a fool to love you,
To come running back to you,
People say you’re a bigger fool to let me go away,
But I can say with so much conviction,
That I am the fool to let you go
And you’re the fool to love me so.
It was my picture perfect relationship,
My anchor, my support, my life, my love
The mention of your name brightened up my face,
The sound of your voice lighted up my day.
Its sad how this relationship of love
Can be reduced to petty formalities,
How your absence can choke me so,
And make me want to kill myself
Slit my wrists, take some pills, jump of a building
Or just lie in bed, waiting for death to consume me.
Your words hurt me, sting me,
The curtness gnaws at my very being,
The flow of tears never ebbs, never fades, never ends
The hurt you caused me never went, never will.
Time can never erase the pain,
It only makes it fade away,
Leaving behind a faint glimmer of a romance
That had eternally changed my life
Left me weaker, made me stronger,
Made me see the other side of life
And made me realise,
The grass on the other side is never greener.
Yes it was bliss when you were there by my side
Yes I could smile every minute of my life
Yes it was the best two months of my life
But soon you’ll only be a memory,
A distant, faraway memory
That will bring a smile to my face sometimes,
And will make me resolute,
Will make me stronger to fight the world,
To stand up to all that I fear without running away.
I thank you, it’s heartfelt, for all the love,
The immense support and the times you held my tears
And made me smile, wider than ever before.
I promise you I won’t be bitter over this relationship,
I promise you I won’t hate you for what you did,
Because if you killed the relationship,
I killed it too.
We’ve reached too far, beyond the point of redemption,
And now I realise, that I wouldn’t come back
Even if you begged, not because I don’t love,
That I always will,
But because it would hurt you again,
It would hurt me again
And most of all, we’ll never be the same again,
Never have the innocence that our relationship used to have.
And this time I won’t blame you or me,
I won’t blame time and I won’t blame circumstances,
There’s nothing to blame for the mess we’re in,
Only leave it up to fate and destiny.
You’re the best thing that happened to me baby,
And there will be many more things to come,
Don’t think I’m leaving you and turning away,
Because when you need me, I’ll be by you,
Being your best friend, your anchor, your shoulder to cry,
And I promise to be there at your wedding too,
Smiling the widest, eyes brimmed with tears,
Telling the girl, how lucky she is to have you.
I might have lost the man I love,
But I won’t lose my best friend too,
I mightn’t talk to you for days on end,
But don’t think I’ve forgotten you,
Because you forgot those who are not special to you,
And you take the spotlight in my heart,
Not as a lover, but as a best friend too.
And I’ll keep up to the promises I once made to you,
I’ll hold back the tears till the refuse to come,
I’ll hold back the pain till it hurts no more,
I promise myself I won’t think of you
Whenever I do what we used to do,
And I promise to smile when I think of you,
And not let loose a dam of tears
Because with every tear, I lose a memory of you,
And I will hold you close, even when I stop loving you.